The Noble and the Sneaky
in head to head they clash
swords glisten and sweat drips
(Noble's got on his best moustache)
Sneaky kills Noble
and runs for the door
only to find
it's not sponsoring him any more.
"But you said" Sneaky cried
almost in tears
"I put in the effort for you, I tried"
but the door remained rather closed
and said nothing.
Bleeding away was dead Noble
and his spirit, now rising, observed
this minor conflict sneaky v. door
but ascended as if nothing was heard.

Sneaky went home victorious
+ defeated
his limbs were tired, he was
emotionally depleted,
but soon the oven was on +
smiling with glee
washed the blood from his
hands and prepared himself tea.

Meanwhile, back where our Noble lay bleeding
the door stood quiet, hairline receeding
as the minutes grew lethargic
+ the air became steep,
the door decended to an eventful sleep.
Several times over he relived the guilt
of not paying Sneaky his promises spilt
when he said that he'd sponsor him, all for a good cause,
if he'd run for him, but he'd spent his money on whores.
But soon his dreams
turn more pleasant
and he mentally lives
this:
a large clean plate
resting on a lions corpse
which is actually a table ornament
and on it he is gracefully skating
simultaneously watching himself skating
as if on ice
on ice in a large, large beakerful
of blackcurrant cordial squash
shark infested and sparkling.
So himself and all the
others; Mr money, Hoxton,
Marigold Marigold +
the Right Reverend Really,
decide they must find their
way to the caves. So
in the boat thhey sail away
dining on weavils with
the unavoidable biscuits in them
they try to pick out the
biscuits but soon tire and
grin + bear them. Many weeks
at sea and saltier for the
experience, they hit land,
(who stumbles back in surprise)
and venture their way on,
black eye + all.
One by one all 15 of them
climb the ladders onto the
roof till only he is left,
so he knocks on the door
and answering it is his
future wife although she
doesn't know it yet.
The next thing he knows
(after the woodland picnic)
he is engaged in in depth
conversation concerning
the colours of the poles on
the different London underground
lines, and is the recorded voice
different for each too?
Just as he's about to figure
it all out, a heavy heavy beeping
seems to pull at his eyes
and lift his head.
Soon, vision + minor headache
make themselves clear.
Awake and disappointed (crushingly)
he says,
"what are you two doing here anyway?"