Feeling this car seat just like spider webs, the ones you spun so delicate gives me no relief. I was thinking this at the exact moment the red of brake lights lit up your face. It gave me quite a scare, an inside panic to know this is all make believe, constructed by a  mind on cruise. My feelings, those that weren't there from the start, but were fabricated  in an attempt to allievate the quiet pangs of lonliness. The car is a catacomb of cobwebs from all the big ideas and feelings I knew would never be realized. Deep down I was thankful now for the light from those soft braking lights directly from a strangers slightly sinking foot. It was a sign at the heart of the matter, telling me things I already knew, but needed some light to see. All these thoughts in my head, all the connections I was making about you and me would be better left for myself. The car lights illuminating how I would never be in love with you. I was thankful despite the truth being covered in intricate folds of mis-direction, and elegant trappings. I was thankful for the fact that the truth was always hiding under it all. Knowing that no matter how much digging was needed to discover it; no matter how bright the brakes lights needed to be, at least the intergity would be there for light to shine on it. I couldn't fake the common feelings I felt for you. There was no magic tricks creating beauty on your face, where none had been before. I wouldn't be put under this time.  
    My heart was at fault, I know this now. Although I never told you a lie I feel I have played parlor tricks with your heart. If my only wrong doing was the time I gave to you under false pretenses, it would be too much.  My silence was worse than truth,  maybe in reality those silken webs aren't from you like I had thought. Never the less they paralzye just the same, regardless of the spinner. 
 My fee, the payment for treating you this way will come; perhaps in the years spent wandering as a common street beggar yet to come.  
    In the car seat next to me made of cloth, spun silk no more you sat with your face straightforward, and I knew that this would be it.